How an Event works, and how we keep it safe

Picture it’s 19:50 on a weeknight. You open the app, the lobby is open, and tonight’s theme is “Is the city worth it?”. Ten minutes later you’re at a table with four strangers: a teacher, a farmer, a software tester and a retired pilot. Everyone is typing. Nobody has their camera on.

That’s an illustrative example of an Evening, one of our Event formats, not a real Event. But it’s how an Event works. This post walks through one from start to finish, and explains the safety rules built into each step.

Before your first Event

A few things happen once, before you ever sit down at a table.

You create an account and verify it’s you. You sign up with your email address and pick a display name. You get a generated avatar, because there are no photo uploads. Then a specialist verification provider checks your ID document and a selfie, and tells us whether you’re verified and 18 or over. We keep that result, not your documents: we don’t keep copies of your ID or your selfie.

Why ask for ID at all? So that everyone at the table is a real adult, and so that people who are banned can’t simply come back with a new email address. It’s the price of talking with strangers safely. spareachair is open to verified adults in the EU/EEA.

You answer a few perspective prompts. There are about eight quick questions, such as city or countryside, or tech optimist or sceptic. There are no right answers. We use them, with your line of work and age band, to seat you with people who answered differently. Nothing about the seating is romantic or based on looks: spareachair is not a dating app.

Picking an Event

We host the Events. They come in different formats, such as an Evening, a Lunch break, a Morning coffee or a Weekend afternoon. Each has a theme, a start time and a set number of seats. An Evening lasts about 90 minutes, a Lunch break 45, a Morning coffee 30 and a Weekend afternoon 120. You RSVP to one that suits you. We remind you 24 hours, 1 hour and 10 minutes before it starts.

The lobby opens a little early, so you can check in and read the theme before the first round: 10 minutes before an Evening, 5 minutes before a Lunch break or a Morning coffee, and 15 minutes before a Weekend afternoon.

Rounds and rotating tables

An Event runs in rounds. Here’s the shape of it:

1. You’re seated at a table of 3–6 people. Each table is mixed on purpose, so you’re talking with people who see the world differently.
2. You talk for a round. A round usually lasts 20 minutes at an Evening, 15 minutes at a Lunch break or a Morning coffee, and 30 minutes on a Weekend afternoon. Text is always on. Everyone starts by typing.
3. The tables reshuffle. New table, new people. We try not to seat you with the same person twice in one Event, and we never seat you with anyone you’ve blocked.
4. Repeat until the Event ends. Then you can tick “keep in touch” next to anyone you’d like to talk to again.

“Keep in touch” only works if it’s mutual. If you both tick each other, you can send messages. A voice or video call only happens if both of you accept it, and either of you can end it or block at any time.

You can see a full example timeline on the how it works page.

Voice and video: your choice, every time

Text is the default, and it’s always there. Your mic and camera are off by default, and so are listening to voice and seeing video. That’s true at every new table: nothing carries over from the last round, so you choose again each time, if and when to turn them on.

Video works both ways by consent. Someone has to switch their camera on, and you have to choose to see it. They only see your video if they choose to, too. Picture a round where two people switch their mic on and you listen for a while before joining in, or never do. Both are fine.

We don’t record audio or video. Recording other people without their consent is also against our Community Guidelines.

Chat is text only: no images, files or link previews. Table messages and direct messages are deleted after 30 days, unless they’re part of a report.

Moderation, blocking and reporting

Verification keeps the room to real adults. It doesn’t guarantee that everyone behaves well, so there are rules and people to enforce them.

• Block and report are one tap away at every table, in messages, during calls and on profiles.
• A report includes the last messages of that conversation, so moderators have context.
• If you block someone, you won’t be seated with them again, and they can’t contact you.
• Automated moderation may hold back messages that clearly break the rules.
• Our moderators review every report. We usually go step by step (warn, suspend, ban), and we tell you what we decided and why. You can appeal.
• Bans stick. Accounts are tied to a verified identity, so a banned person can’t just sign up again with a new email address.

The house rules are in our Community Guidelines. They cover what’s welcome, what isn’t, and what happens when someone breaks them. Flirting and sexual content are against the rules.

What we don’t promise

No system makes talking with strangers risk-free, and we won’t pretend ours does. We don’t claim that software catches everything or that nobody will ever behave badly.

What we can promise is how the product works. Everyone is 18+ and ID-verified before joining an Event. Mic and camera are off by default. Video is only shown if you choose to see it. Nothing is recorded, and every report is reviewed by a person. If something feels wrong, leave the table, block or report.

You can read more on our safety page and in the FAQ.

The takeaway

An Event is a small, scheduled, hosted get-together. You spend it at tables of a few verified adults, starting in text, changing tables every round, and meeting people who see the world differently. You decide whether to use your voice or camera. And you decide who, if anyone, to keep in touch with.

If you’d like to see why we built it this way, read why social networks stopped being social. spareachair is free, for verified adults (18+) in the EU/EEA. Get the app from the links on our home page.